8 hadiths on the relationship between parents and children
The present booklet presents in a short and concise manner the rights of the parents and the rights of the children. It also includes special duas that the children. Home > Ask the Counselor > Parent-Child Relationship. Parent-Child Relationship. Father Tracks My Every Move; I'll Go Crazy! Father Tracks My Every Move;. Q&A on how to help parents to build and improve the relations between Parents and child.
Unforunate as it is, the Western societies have forgotten these lessons. Young children are rude towards parents and show disobedience.
Grown up children cannot spare time to attend to the needs of old parents. The busy Western life has led to a break-up of the family unit so much upheld in Islam. As Muslims we expect our children to adhere to Islamic values and show respect, obedience, kindness, leniency and care towards parents, especially in their old age. Children must not forget the favors and sacrifices of their parents.
As good mannered persons they must feel and remain obliged towards parents and try to repay them by kind words and deeds, even with money and material needs. These are the Rights of Parents due from their children or the Duties of Children towards parents. These Rights and obligations are not found in Islam only. Such values are to be found in all true religions. Hazrat Yousuf Josephas a royal Minister in Egypt, called his old, poor parents from their far off home and offered them seats on a high platform he did not feel shy of behaving in a kind manner to poor parents in the presence of his officials.
Parent - Child Relations - A Guide to Raising Children | Book details
We have mentioned that Parent-child relation is a reciprocal one. The Rights of Parents discussed above are the Duties of children. These can be summarized as under: It is, primarily, the duty of the father to do that. Mother can provide help if necessary. Protection means protection against physical as well as moral and intellectual harm. So if the parents have to resort to strictness for the sake of disciplining the children and protecting them from intellectually, morally and religiously undesirable behaviour, children should not resent their strictness.
Let them perform their duty as parents. In Islam education is not limited to bookish knowledge but includes moral and religious training also. Leaving children to the mercy of teachers or tutors is not a wise policy. A little sacrifice on part of parents will save children from moral disasters. Another Hadith lays stress on education of daughters.
Children have many psychological needs also. Small children need to be loved, caressed, kissed and hugged. The Prophet loved children greatly.
He would allow his grandsons Hassan and Hussain R. A to ride his shoulders even during his prayers. Sometimes he would even kiss small children in the street.
Parent and Child relationship in Islam
Once a Bedouin saw the Prophet kissing a small kid. The Prophet would show special kindness to orphaned children. Some parents believe that being frank with children is not good from discipline point of view. Love and leniency can do much that fear and strictness cannot do. This has He instructed you that you may use reason.
A third set of rights comes under socialization, upbringing, and general care. To take good care of children is one of the most commendable deeds in Islam.
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- Parent-Child Relationship in Islam
The Prophet was fond of children and he expressed his conviction that his Muslim community would be noted among other communities for its kindness to children.
It is charity of a higher order to attend to their spiritual welfare, educational needs, and general well-being.
This should be made a festive occasion marked with joy and charity. Responsibility for and compassion toward the child is a matter of religious importance as well as social concern. Whether the parents are alive or deceased, present or absent, known or unknown, the child is to be provided for with optimum care. But if there is no next of kin, care for the child becomes a joint responsibility of the entire Muslim community, designated officials and commoners alike.
In Islam, parents and children are bound together by mutual obligations and reciprocal commitments. But the age differential is sometimes so wide as to cause parents to grow physically weak and mentally feeble. This is often accompanied by impatience, degeneration of energy, heightened sensitivity, and perhaps misjudgment. The fact that parents are advanced in age and are generally believed to be more experienced does not by itself validate their views or certify their standards.
Similarly, youth per se is not the sole fountain of energy, idealism, or wisdom. He was thereafter called Zaid ibn Muhammad and became the first of the freed slaves to accept Islam. Now what is the judgement of Islam concerning such a system of adoption?
Parent - Child Relations - A Guide to Raising Children
Islam rightly views this sort of adoption as a falsification of the natural order and of reality. Taking a stranger into the family as one of its members; and allowing him privacy with women who are not his muharrmat, nor he theirs, is a deception, for the man's wife is not the adopted son's mother, nor is his daughter the boy's sister nor is his sister his aunt, since all of them are non-mahrem to him.
Moreover, the adopted son acquires a claim on the inheritance of the man and his wife, depriving the rightful, deserving relatives of their inheritance. Such a situation arouses the anger of the real relatives against the intruder who encroaches upon them and usurps their rights, depriving them of their full inheritance. Since the Islamic Shari'ah specifies the share of an individual's property to which each near blood relative is entitled, the legal adoption of a child who is not among such relatives, but who, by virtue of adoption, is one of the heirs would naturally create bitterness and hostility among the rightful heirs.
Frequently such anger leads to quarrels and to the breaking of relations among relatives. That is why the Qur'an abolished this jahili system, prohibiting it totally and eradicating all its consequences.