Should I break off my long-distance relationship? | Life and style | The Guardian
I remember ending my relationship of four years over FaceTime and My ex and I didn't really know how to break up with someone long-distance, but we or some source of support ready for when you get off the phone. Long distance relationships are far from a straight line. You agree to do the distance and start packing your bags to see each other. The first few. Ever since then we have been in a long-distance relationship and live 1, miles apart. Relationships end for all sorts of reasons. I think you.
5 Signs You Need to End Your Long-Distance Relationship | Her Campus
We emailed, texted and phoned and spent many hours talking. I visit the USA a few times a year to see friends, and he lived in their state, so I thought I had a good idea of his culture and what he would be like in general. I sensed a real chemistry between us, and thought the relationship had enough potential to give it a chance, even though we lived in different countries.
Within eight weeks, however, I was second guessing whether we really were a good fit. Some red flags had started to appear.ENDING OUR LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP
Red Flags During those first weeks, John would make remarks which I found odd. Initially I just put these sorts of comments down to the difference in our cultures, us never having met, etc.
6 Signs You Need To Let Go Of Your Long Distance Relationship
And in the spirit of giving him the benefit of the doubt, I agreed for him to come and visit me in England. The visit was fun but certainly not without drama! We visited a great restaurant in London with fantastic views over the Thames. I was looking around and enjoying the view, people watching, when he became withdrawn and quiet. Then a male colleague and friend texted me one evening during that visit holidays.
The questions from John followed quickly: Why was he texting me? Did his wife know? The fact that John was acting jealous and insecure seems obvious now as I write this down, but it was less obvious then. I really liked this guy. He made me laugh. He was smart, sexy, and interested in me. Over time, though, these red flags became empty promises.
6 Signs You Need To Let Go Of Your Long Distance Relationship | Thought Catalog
Empty Promises I work in the male-dominated field of law enforcement, and I had learned some lessons the hard way during the marriage that had just ended. I brought them up with him. He promised to change. He backed off for a couple of days, but within a week or two we were right back to the same old patterns. I tried conveying every way possible of my feelings for him—which were still strong.
I tried talking about our cultural differences in this area, and how I had had male friends and male colleagues my entire life. I told him the thing he was so afraid of being hurt and losing me was the very thing that was happening, due to his smothering behavior. He claimed to have realized where he was going wrong. He even began reading a book to help with his insecurities and anxiety. I gave him reassurance. I never lied to him about my whereabouts or who I was with, and I made clear my intentions for our relationship.
I wanted to compromise and have that reciprocated. However, he just could not tolerate me spending any time with male friends, or with colleagues outside of work. I visited the USA six weeks after our first visit, still hoping he could change in this area. He assured me he felt differently and that he would address his thought processes and behavior going forward, but it was an empty promise.
Go with the flow. The pattern of controlling behavior remained. I am happy with my lifestyle, have a job I love, friends and family close by and a wonderful home. I love my boyfriend very much and cannot contemplate being with anyone else, but I am reluctant to give up what I have to live somewhere very isolated that offers me few opportunities. Every time I spend more than a few days where he lives, I begin to feel stifled and depressed.
My boyfriend is also unwilling to entertain the possibility of coming to live here because he has a secure, well-paid job where he is. The language barrier is also a problem for him. We have looked into moving together to a different city in the country where he lives, but each time I suggest an alternative solution he seems unwilling to consider it and cites his job and the convenience of living close to work and family as a reason not to move.
Should I just count my blessings or admit we have no future and try to find someone closer to home? What I think you want is permission for me to say: It is OK to leave.
When I am really struggling with emotional situations, I look at the practicalities. Of course you can carry on as you are, indefinitely. But in terms of living together, unless there is a sudden and committed change of heart, one of you will massively compromise and the next stage of your relationship will start on a bedrock of resentment. Not a good idea.
Perhaps the time to do something is not right now.