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But when both partners have ADHD, there are extra challenges. While maintaining a household for couples with ADHD may be tougher. In some ways, two adults with ADHD are a match made in heaven. In other ways, they need to do some hard work, different from neurotypical couples, to keep. And still, adults with ADHD are completely capable of happy, fulfilling marriages. Relationships thrive when both partners act lovingly towards one another, There are scans and various tests to prove the diagnosis, but.
ADHD and Relationships: How to Make it Work
This can result in angry outbursts that leave partners feeling hurt or fearful. While the adult with ADHD in the relationship is at risk of feeling micromanaged and overwhelmed with criticism, the non-ADHD partner might feel disconnected, lonely, or underappreciated. More often than not, the behaviors on the surface i. This chronic pattern of micromanaging and underachievement can result in feelings of shame and insecurity for the ADHD partner.
It also increases the risk of depression. When couples work to improve communication skills, they can restore balance to the relationship. Try these strategies to communicate effectively with your partner: Sharing your struggles helps your partner understand how ADHD impacts your behavior Hold eye contact when listening For long conversations, consider a fidget toy like a squeeze ball to keep your mind engaged Focus on teamwork.
To create balance in a relationship, two partners have to work together. Divide tasks based on strengths. If ADHD interferes with your ability to pay bills on time or manage money, ask your partner to handle that task.
When couples divide tasks based on their strengths, they get through their to-do lists without either partner feeling overburdened or resentful. Have a weekly meeting at a predetermined time to discuss the workload and rebalance the tasks if one of you is feeling overwhelmed. Weekly check-ins are also a great opportunity to slow down and connect and plan time together to strengthen your bond.
If you have children, assign age appropriate chores to help keep the house organized. Automatic bill pay can be very helpful for adults with ADHD. Everyone in the orchestra is playing the wrong music. Another challenge for adults with ADHD is initiation. What does your ADHD look like?
When is it particularly troublesome? What are you great at doing? What are you not so good at doing? Kravetz helps clients identify and capitalize on their strengths, which is so important for everything from working effectively to tackling daily responsibilities. Sit down together and discuss your definition of a well-maintained home, said Madeleine P.
What does it look like? What will this entail? Every couple will have a different answer. That means that one partner will have different strengths than the other partner.
Maintaining a Household When Both Partners Have ADHD
Take advantage of these assets. Have each person perform tasks that actually fit their strengths.
If it helps, create a list of which tasks each of you will complete. For chores and tasks that neither of you can do, consider delegating.ADHD and the Intimate Relationship 1: Strange but true!
You might ask loved ones to help. Or you might hire help. For instance, you might hire a housekeeper twice a month, Cote said. Or you might hire an organizer to help you create systems in your closet or with your paperwork, Kravetz said.
Many people also find it tremendously helpful to work with an ADHD coach. Use the buddy system. Another option is to tackle tasks together.
Cote shared these examples: One partner washes dishes, while the other dries them. One partner sweeps, while the other cleans the windows. Or you might make the bed together or fold laundry together.