Both partners have to work on maintaining and building intimacy. Deep and meaningful emotional intimacy in a relationship depends on the. Often, a man will initiate sex just to make sure that you are still sexually But security goes deeper than just the fact that you won't leave him. As much as we enjoy hearing about the 'self-made' man or woman, the reality Here are five ways the uber successful build lasting, profitable relationships. ones, but you'll find that successful people have deep relationships that have been.
A man will be that much happier for you to receive him when he returns, knowing that you trust both him and the strength of your bond enough to let him have his space.
Physical Touch Men need frequent non-sexual touch as well as a sense of sexual access.
Security Men and women are both attracted to certainty in a relationship. The more a man feels like his partner is in it for the long haul, the more ready and able he is to be able to open up to her assuming he is equally invested in her. The security that he feels ties back in to several of these points. He feels secure in knowing that you approve of him and where he is in his career.
He feels secure and loved when you touch him non-sexually throughout the day. And he feels secure with a partner who takes steps to love him in the way that he most needs. If you are a man reading this, do you feel like all of your needs are being met? Could you ask for your partner to do something differently?
Maybe send her this article? If you are someone who is in a relationship with a man and you are reading this, how could you love him more fully? Which of these can you incorporate more of into your relationship? Let this article and the female equivalent be the catalyst that gets this conversation started between the two of you. This is about loving people in the best way that they could possibly be loved and opening up a dialogue about emotional needs in relationships.
Dedicated to your success, Jordan Ps. Have a specific question that you would like answered? Be open to the comments of the other person to be sure you heard things properly. Good communication can definitely bring you emotionally closer to your partner.
7 Things All Men Need In A Relationship - Jordan Gray Consulting
And when you feel emotionally connected, your relationship becomes all it can be — that is a healthy, strong, committed partnership. They want to know how to bring out the emotional side of their partner and deepen the connection.
This is a complex topic with as many individual nuances as there are couples. However, I will touch on some basic tips and guidelines.
When looking for a partner, be aware of how they relate to you in the courtship phase of the relationship. If deep emotional connection is important to you, look for someone who is able to communicate and express themselves, or is at least willing to try, from the beginning.
I have spoken to many women who lament the lack of emotional connection several years into a relationship and simply did not see the pattern from the beginning or they expected it to change. If you want emotional connection with anyone, you must be willing to be vulnerable yourself.
You cannot necessarily wait for the other person to open the door to deeper intimacy. Become the change you want to see and express what you would like to share in a loving way and see how it is received.
Share your feelings openly and responsibly. Take responsibility for knowing your own wants and needs and express them clearly. By being vulnerable you are modeling that you want to trust and take the relationship to a deeper level. If you want a man to connect with you emotionally, find a way to compel him to do so. Become the person who he would want to be emotionally close to. Take responsibility for your own life and happiness. Know what interests you, turns you on and inspires you.
Create a full life that is pleasurable and happy. Invite him to join you there and be curious about his wants and needs. Share from this place of pleasure, fun and curiosity and see if he opens to join you. Men want to be with women who are already happy. They do not want to feel responsible for your happiness. When you create safety for them in that way, they will be more likely let down their guard and open up. What not to do: In my years of being a relationship coach and therapist, I have seen many strategies that women use to get a man to open up simply backfire and create more disconnection.
It may seem obvious, but it generally does not work to complain, criticize, shame, blame or judge a man for not sharing his feelings. It also does not work to be angry with him for his feelings once he does express them! When the emotional attraction is present the physical attraction will be deeper and your partner or potential partner will feel called to deepen the relationship and really open his heart to you.
Be Positive Our negative self talk and beliefs, our old stories and wounds if we perpetuate them in relationships we actually hurt our own chances of love and forming a deep connection. When you want to contract and fall inward and close off, challenge yourself to expand and feel the deep connection that you have with love fill you and give you the courage to hold in that space regardless of the outcome, that is attractive and gives an opportunity to form a true connection.
Take the time to enjoy the connection Women are creatures of security we love to feel really secure in the exchange we want to know a man is going to be there for us and show up as a present lover, husband, father, etc. Those moments can be missed if we rush them. Keep it interesting and keep the spark alive In the beginning it is interesting and fun and we tend to devote time and energy to creating a healthy exchange and sharing ourselves, this can dwindle over time if we are not careful.
One of the keys to deepening an emotional connection and also sustaining a fulfilling relationship is to constantly blow oxygen onto the fire i. Look for ways to show up and surprise your partner, keep the passion alive, plan dates and share intimacy regularly. Also, do the unexpected, keep your partner on their toes and show them that they are in for a life of fun, deep love and intimacy with you. Women learned to connect to their emotions and those of others by their role of child-rearing. For their children to thrive, their mothers had to recognize and respond to their emotional needs.
Women also got plenty of practice in chatting about feelings as gatherers, whereas men had a good deal less opportunity as hunters who needed to be silent and focus on killing and bringing home dinner. That said, both sexes need emotional connections. Here are some tips on connecting more deeply with a man: Be a good listener. As a woman, you may feel that others show interest in you by peppering you with questions.
Ask them a question and then, rather than jumping in with a follow-up right away, just sit back and listen to his answer. Let him meander and set the pace with how he tells his stories. Let him unfold his feelings gradually and that will deepen connection between you.
Share your emotions freely without expecting him to do the same. Without being preachy, talk about how you feel in a thoughtful manner. It helps to make eye contact which increases physical bonding through the production of oxytocin, which is called the love hormone.
Let him set the pace and, again, create a safe space in which he can comfortably share. Make sure not to use other men you know—in your past or in your current shared life with your man—to show the kind of deep connection you seek. This approach will not endear you to him, nor help him feel that he wants to be more connected to you.
Recognize that some men can connect more deeply than others. You can also deepen it by doing things you enjoy together, including sitting silently in a room and simply glancing over at each other occasionally with a smile of recognition of your togetherness.
Sometimes, actions really do speak louder than words. There are different ways of communicating outside of words.
Body language is a way of communicating. Actions and behavior are a way of communicating. A deeper connection can be found in the subtle ways that you express yourself and communicate with your partner. Timing is important in being able to give each other your full attention.
Attend to your partner as much as you want him to attend to you. Give him space to communicate his feelings and express himself in a meaningful way for him.
A relationship is a breathing living thing. We have to feed and nourish a relationship. Relationships take work and effort to be strong and healthy. Be mindful that you are attending to his needs for intimacy and his desire to connect. Slow down and be present by looking into his eyes, hugging him, holding his hand and responding to what he is saying to you.
Take the time to engage in a conversation. Prepare a meal together. Go shopping for the ingredients and make a night of trying a new recipe. Take time for a date night. Turn off the electronic devices phones, pads and computers and turn off the television. Go for a walk and grab a snow cone.
7 Things All Men Need In A Relationship
Go for a picnic or play a board game. Go to an outdoor concert or take the dog to the park. Engage at times when you can give each other your undivided attention.
Be present for each other by paying attention and engaging each other in non-verbal communication. Glance and smile at each other when you are not talking. Hold hands and explore ways to connect with touch and non-verbal communication.
Being present for your partner and taking time to listen to what he is really saying is extremely important. Let him speak and let him complete his train of thought when he is trying to say something. Be tactful and gentle when telling him about something you do not like. Be honest and direct yet respectful and compassionate. Be mindful that you are not imposing your will on him and pushing him away because he feels overpowered by you.
Listen to what interests him.
Pay attention to the details of what is important to him. Show him with your words and actions that his needs are important to you. Be fair and considerate of his time and other responsibilities. If you want honesty from him, you have to be willing to hear the truth. If you cut him off because you become upset at what he is saying, he will shut down and refrain from sharing his thoughts and feelings with you in the future. Maybe there is something that he wants to tell you that is really important to him.
Maybe he is worried that you will judge or reject him if he tells you about something intimate or embarrassing. Maybe he is concerned about looking weak if he expresses his emotions. In order for a man to be vulnerable with you, he has to trust you and feel safe. He needs to know that you will not mock him or throw what he tells you in his face. Trust will foster a deeper connection. We can bring our own issues into a relationship and sometimes we need to do some work on ourselves to address those issues.
Talk to a therapist if there are some issues that you want to work on. It is important to never tolerate abuse or to be abusive. Get some guidance on how to manage conflict and negotiate a win-win in your relationship.
Address what is not working in the relationship and build on what is working. It took years for me to realize a relationship is not a romance movie. At some point in our lives, we may believe that love should be like the kind of romance we see portrayed in films, television, and novels. For some reason, I always thought my romantic relationships were less if I did not experience this kind of fairy-tale relationship. Maybe this is why I kept meeting frogs.
At times, I bought into the belief that if I had a relationship with the perfect prince, then all would be well in my life.
I thought, Now, I will be safe forever. In truth, I did marry a prince—but a prince who is also human, who has faults and issues just like every person, no matter how wonderful he is.
At some point I grew up and learned to let go of the crazy metaphor of romantic love in order to find true happiness. Yes, I was disappointed to realize that the knight riding through the night to save the damsel in distress is a fallacy. We all saw Romeo and Juliet and Titanic. Why stories like these make our hearts sing is that the love is unrequited. Unavailability fuels the romantic expression. This kind of romantic story can only work when there is an absence of the lover.
Sometimes, they have to die in the end in order for their love to fit into this romantic view. Or, we eat handfuls of popcorn, waiting to see if they live happily ever after, and we rarely find out if they really do. The romantic love fantasy is really a substitute for intimacy—real, connected, vulnerable intimacy.