How to Fix a Broken Relationship With a Daughter | Our Everyday Life
You're arguing constantly and rarely talk anymore. You're not sure when things started drifting, but your relationship has definitely changed. Thankfully, you can. Any emotional stress caused by your mother-daughter relationship to either party, no matter how slight, is worth fixing! An older mother who is tired of mothering. May 16, If you are a mother and have been craving a closer connection with your daughter, here's how to repair your relationship with your daughter.
This article here even suggests that stepmothering is more difficult than parenting as a stepfather. Rarely do we come across news articles of biological mother-child conflict. And because a strained relationship between a mother and daughter appears to be outside of the norm, when there is animus or emotional disconnect between a mother and an adult female child, it may actually cause more emotional distress i.
How to repair your relationship with your daughter | MadameNoire
Individuals affected by a strained or emotionally absent mother-daughter relationship may try to hide their feelings from others, which only leads to more feelings of shame and loneliness. So, where do daughters begin to repair poor relationships with their mothers?
- Swallow the Pride
- Give It Time
Why is it important to foster positive relationships between daughters and mothers? Below, I provide tips on how to repair a broken or strained relationship between adult daughters and their mothers, which serves to preserve or improve the emotional health of the individual, the entire family, and female bonds.
How to Fix a Broken Relationship With a Daughter
Although here I focus on encouraging daughters to initiate healing conversations with their mothers, mothers and other caregivers will find the suggested steps useful as well.
Set Up the Meeting Schedule in advance a time and date to meet. Inform your mother in advance what the meeting will be about. Decide if it will take place in a private place, like your living room, or in a public place, such as a coffee shop. Weigh the pros and cons of a public versus private meet-up. Also, you should know in advance what it is you want to say to your mother and the message you would like to convey. Only involve the two individuals involved and primarily responsible for any past disagreements and repairing the relationship.
The point is to avoid family members from siding with or teaming up against mother or daughter. Of course, after the initial reconciliation talk, other family members can come together and discuss the renewal of the relationship or how to help support the relationship. Have the Conversation Begin the conversation by thanking your mother for agreeing to join you in the conversation. Inform her that the meeting is very important to you. Then, begin the conversation with identifying the positive aspects of the relationship.
3 Steps To Healing A Strained Mother-Daughter Relationship
If there is no relationship at all at this point, you can simply begin by pointing out positive characteristics of your mother or positive events or behaviors in her past.
Most importantly, instead of beginning the conversation with who or what caused the problem, begin with pointing strengths about the person or the relationship. Strive for gradual improvement over time and don't give up when there are setbacks.
When tensions are high, allow time for you and your daughter to cool off before addressing issues. Swallow the Pride Even when you know you are completely right, an uncompromising attitude will get you nowhere with your daughter. Remember to use "I" statements as you discuss how her actions make you feel. Acknowledge how she feels, even if you completely disagree.
Apologizing first does not make you the weaker one. It shows maturity and sets the stage for her to apologize for her actions. Balance individuality and closeness. It can be challenging for daughters to build their own identities.
Sometimes daughters think that in order to become their own person, they must cut off from their moms, Mintle said. Both are clearly problematic.What can you do each day to improve your Mother-Daughter relationship?
But daughters can find their voices and identities within the relationship. We learn how to deal with conflict and negative emotions through our families, Mintle said.
15 Insights on Improving Mother-Daughter Relationships
Mintle and her mom had a positive relationship but sometimes struggled with this balance. When Mintle was a well-established professional in her 30s, her mom would still tell her what to do. Then, she realized that she had to talk to her mom in a different way. The next night her mom said the same thing, Mintle used humor: Moms and daughters disagree on many topics, such as marriage, parenting and career, and they usually try to convince the other to change those opinions, Cohen-Sandler said.
Moms feel threatened and rejected that their daughters are making different decisions.
Daughters think their moms disapprove of them and get defensive. Stick to the present. It becomes their default disagreement. Talk about how you want to communicate. But if you want to reach me during the day [with something] more urgent, just text me.
One way to ease into reconnecting with your mom or daughter is by setting clear-cut boundaries.