How to stop jealousy in a relationship

7 Strategies on Dealing with Jealousy in Intimate Relationships | HuffPost

how to stop jealousy in a relationship

Relationships end because of jealous conflicts, and people kill other people . Stop and say to yourself, “I know that I am feeling jealous, but I don't have to act. How to stop being jealous today before this relationship parasite eats away your love life. If you are in a relationship, it is natural to feel a little jealous at times, to open your heart to your partner, trust whatever comes and keep calm.

Save 2 Easier said than done, but stop comparing yourself to others Some not all jealousy is driven by low self-esteem. I don't understand how someone like them could be attracted to someone like me!

Does the Mona Lisa painting know why it is so valuable? Of course, you may be able to appreciate attractive qualities in yourself, but consider this: There are better looking, richer, funnier, smarter, younger people around than just about all of us, but these are qualities of a 'product'. If he or she loves you, it will be because of an extra, indefinable quality you have that they couldn't even explain - some deep part of your humanity they connected to which transcends looks, youth, wealth, and so forth.

Some of the most loved people in history have been well down the list when it comes to looks or wealth. Stop trying to 'work out' why they can possibly like you. People with quite high self-esteem can experience intense jealousy if they tend to feel they themselves must always be the centre of things. People like this tend to look at other people as material property. And maybe they just don't want to share that 'property', even as far as letting their partner innocently smile or socialize with another person.

Perhaps as a kid they were a little spoilt. But people are not objects or toys to be constantly guarded. To love someone properly, we need to be prepared to lose them.

Sounds like it, you might think and I do have my momentsbut hear me out. Anger, fear, and jealousy drive out love; and love needs a strong dash of fearlessness to flourish. Okay, so you fear losing your loved one to someone else and possibly fear how this will make you feel about yourself. If you must keep using your imagination, use it to imagine the 'worst' happening and you still being okay; not just surviving, but thriving in this imagined scenario.

Fantasize about how well you'd react, how whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Write down 10 positive ways you'd like to respond and how you'd build your life up even better if this relationship were to end. Fear is much greater when we feel that 'all our eggs are in one basket'. Don't build your whole life around any one person. But don't leave this list lying around to be found by your partner, as this may start them feeling insecure.

People sometimes try to make themselves feel better by trying to get their partner jealous.

how to stop jealousy in a relationship

Flirting with other men or women all the time in front of your partner; constantly saying how attractive, fun, and witty someone you work with is; and going out of your way to talk about past lovers just demeans you and won't make either of you feel better in the long run. This isn't to say you have to pretend that no other attractive people exist in the world, but you can acknowledge this without using it as relationship ammunition.

If your partner is ever unfaithful to you, that is a reflection of them, not you; and if this were to occur, it's better that they don't have the 'ammo' to turn around and say: Because you were always flirting outrageously with the auto repair man girl who works in the bar The imagination is great Stephen King has a stellar career from making stuff up and writing about it. But he distances himself thankfully for him!

He doesn't believe everything he writes is real just because he imagined it. Right now, I can imagine an alien invasion headed right towards Earth. I can vividly 'see' the pesky aliens about to land the mother ship in my local park, but I don't believe it. Stop trusting your imagination so much.

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Your partner is home later than you thought they were going to be. You start to imagine them having an intimate drink with that handsome guy you saw working in her office or that luscious sister of his new gym partner you happened to see one time. You become angry, upset, frightened - without having any evidence that what you imagined is real.

  • 2. Understand your need for variety and consistency. And don’t mix them up.
  • Why Do People Get Jealous?
  • 1. Acknowledge, affirm, and appreciate.

They come home and you react 'weirdly' by being very cold or you have an outburst of anger toward them. They become defensive and angry back in turn. I recall seeing a YouTube video of a dog becoming very angry - with its own leg. The more its leg moved, the angrier it got with it - not realizing that it, the dog, was moving the leg.

How to Stop Jealousy in a Relationship: 11 Steps (with Pictures)

We laugh when we see a dog do this, but psychologically people do a variation of this all the time. When you stop getting emotional just because you've imagined something, you'll take a hefty step toward regaining control of that jealousy. Start relaxing with lengthening the 'leash'.

how to stop jealousy in a relationship

If your partner wants to spend the weekend with his or her friends, let them. Keeping them 'imprisoned' will only build their desire to escape your possessiveness. Let them have their freedom and no, this is not the same as letting them walk all over you. If you are out with them, let them chat to their attractive colleague bearing in mind that they may not find their colleague as attractive as you imagine.

Laugh with them as you say this, because it will take the pressure off the topic and will get the message across. When you are diplomatic, you can let them know that you love them a lot and know that they will never cheat on you.

And if you are direct, just tell them that you trust them, yet cannot control your feelings and want them to consider how you feel. Appreciate Yourself One of the main reasons why people get jealous is that they have low self-esteem and insecurity issues. They tend to think that they are not good enough, their partner will realize this, and will leave them for someone else. You need to know that there is a reason why your partner liked you in the first place and got together with you.

If you need some reaffirmation or appreciation, don't hesitate to ask for that too within reason of-course. The next time you feel jealous, remember that your partner is with you because they want to be with you because of your positive qualities. Heal Your Wounds People tend to act jealous because of previous relationships too.

You might have been hurt before and they might have cheated on you. You have to move beyond your past and realize that you are out of that relationship and in a new one. The person that you are with is not your ex-partner. Understanding the roots, triggers and reasons for your jealousy is an important part of personal growth and maintaining a healthy relationship.

Whenever you start feeling jealous, make a conscious effort to heal your old wounds, be more resilient so that your past does not affect your present and future. Trust Your Partner You must trust your partner, because you have no other option if you want to have a happy and successful relationship.

No one can control your partner and you have to let jealousy go. Having some control is not a bad thing, yet trying to control somebody for things over which you have no control, is problematic. Act in a loving manner in spite of feelings of jealousy you experience. Trust Yourself The best thing that you can do is trust yourself. Trust yourself that you can love deeply and without any regrets.

Trust yourself that your love will act like the anchor that will prevent your relationship from floating away. This is not easy, but ultimately when you trust yourself, you trust whatever comes. You feel confidence that you will be able to manage even the most difficult situation, including a breakup or rejection. In conclusion, jealousy may be destructive and serves as a poison in intimate relationships.

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