Keep your guard up in a relationship

Relationships and Why to Let Your Guard Down — She Who Spoke

keep your guard up in a relationship

Being guarded can protect you, but it can also keep you from good things in life. 5 . Getting into a relationship at all can be seen as letting your guard down in a lot of ways. You get to enjoy that feeling of lightening up over and over again. If you have just gotten out of a serious relationship where your significant You should always think before you act and keep your guard up to. Here's how to throw caution to the wind and finally find romance. you – give good matches six dates before you make your mind up whether you can trust you can really let your guard down and have a good relationship with anyone else.

When you find the right mate, feelings of brokenheartedness will become a memory.

  • Date Carefully
  • More From Thought Catalog
  • Date Before Labeling the Relationship

Date Carefully Be careful whom you date or you may be destined to end up with a broken heart. Some people are interested only in using others; some have intentions that are impure.

keep your guard up in a relationship

If you decide to date a person who is known to be a "player," for example, there is a good chance that person will break up with you after getting physical satisfaction -- leaving you with a broken heart and painful regret. Date people with good reputations. Date Before Labeling the Relationship Going on dates before deciding to be in a relationship is a way to avoid getting your heart broken. Instead of being quick to label your relationship with the other person, spend some casual time doing fun activities together, such as dining out, walking in the park or going bowling.

keep your guard up in a relationship

These lightweight dates will help you determine if your date is a good fit or if a more serious relationship is not in cards. Do Not Fully Self-Disclose on the First Date Do not tell your date everything about yourself the first time you get together -- or the second, or the third.

It is important to be slow and tactful when it comes to disclosing information about yourself, because you do not know yet if you can trust the person you are dating. Instead, reveal insignificant details about yourself in the beginning stages of the relationship. However, emotionally, they both had their own issues.

keep your guard up in a relationship

Although in her late 40s, Alexis never had married before. Josh, on the other hand, had two failed marriages, both of which ended when his wives left him for other men. After their wedding, Josh discovered that Alexis had come into their relationship thousands of dollars in debt, which she consciously was attempting to pay off out of her own salary.

He saw her actions as a betrayal of his trust.

keep your guard up in a relationship

For example, take Donald and Angie, who have been married for 14 years. It is a second marriage for both. Neither of their first marriages lasted very long. They attributed it to growing older, losing interest in their partners and having married too early — all of which may have been true, but the sad fact is, they learned nothing from their first relationships. Instead, they accepted rather superficial reasons for why their relationships ended in divorce and took little responsibility for the problems they experienced.

You Look Like An Asshole When You Keep Your Guard Up

Worst of all, they had no awareness of the reasons they chose their previous partners, in the first place. Now, 14 years later, they find themselves unhappy, feeling horribly hurt by each other and interacting in an extremely vindictive manner.

They have settled into a relationship that brings neither of them joy, excitement nor happiness. They are immersed in behavioral routines, which primarily consist of protecting themselves from one another, but do nothing to improve their marital relationship, which is weak in substance and only superficially acceptable on the surface.

Have/keep One's Guard Up | Definition of Have/keep One's Guard Up by Merriam-Webster

Both Donald and Angie are individuals who came from extremely dysfunctional homes. Mother barely held things together, had little time for her son and constantly was hysterical regarding the destructive, hurtful relationships she had with these men.

To survive emotionally, Donald developed a coping mechanism consisting of not needing or trusting anyone, and making it on his own by keeping his feelings to himself.

keep your guard up in a relationship

Mother was a depressed, angry individual. She hated the marriage she felt trapped in, and blamed her husband for all her problems, but did nothing about it.


Angie coped by living in a fantasy world, dreaming of perfect relationships, beautiful love and a marriage to someone who would be her savior. But, inside, she perceived herself as inadequate, insufficient and unlovable, all of which she compensated for by her dreams of perfection.