Poly Relationships: Figuring Out The World Of Online Dating | Chatelaine
We've gathered some real stories from the people of Reddit and they're fascinating! Perhaps, those that stigmatize polyamorous relationships, don't . My wife and I met online about eight years ago, through playing the. As one woman found out, online dating as a poly can teach you about 'unicorns,' the value of communication, and what you really Real Life Stories A series of lipstick kisses to illustrate a column about poly relationships. In the last few years, polyamory has become more and more popular—and visible, from Showtime reality show Polyamory: Married and Dating.
I haven't felt jealousy in years now, other than a few twinges of envy when work schedules have prevented me from spending time with each of them as much as I'd like. For me, I can't even wrap my brain around the idea of being jealous of the two of them. They are the two people I love most in this world, and when the people I love most do things to make each other happy, I can only feel ecstatic. We actually weren't expecting to start it.
It culminated with me getting kicked out of the apartment I was in by my roommates, upon hearing about it these two friends admitted they where developing feelings for me and that I could stay with them till I get back on my feet.
Currently, the three of us are still together we all sleep in the same bed and have a sexually open relationship and really aren't seeking out expanding our relationship. It wasn't until he joined the relationship that we began to really have anything close to jealousy.
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It mainly came from one of my boyfriends and his insecurities with the idea that I might run off and leave them for our soldier instead of cultivating our four way relationship because of the fact me and the other two have an age difference of just over ten years while I'm only 2 apart from our soldier.
But we try to work through and jealously when it arises by talking it out it. The biggest thing these relationships let alone any relationship is maintaining communications about problems and even minor issues so they don't build up to something worse. The idea of being polyamorous started after my wife came out to me as bisexual--I knew that she'd kinda missed out on the chance to experience that part of her sexuality, thanks to years of conservative Christian teaching, and wanted her to be fully herself.
That developed, along with some reading on the subject, into a shared philosophy that love is infinite: So we both have OKCupid accounts, and currently I have a girlfriend, and my wife is seeing a new guy, and has a We both know each other's "people" that's important to usand there has been some sexual interaction between her female partner and me, as well as her female partner's male primary partner and my wife.
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It's been totally feasible to deal with though. We've learned to communicate so much better than we could before, and we both feel quite fulfilled with our situation. I've got too much on to see more than one person, and sex is just better when you've got a real connection.
My current relationship turned into a poly one when my partner decided she was running out of time to have kids a thing that I don't have plans to do. So she's started a distance thing with one of her friends, with the view to the marriage and babies thing. There's no jealousy here.
Might be different if he lived closer. I've had other poly relationships in the past without having jealousy issues - but I like and trust this girl a lot more than I have anyone else.
In order to avoid cheating on their partner they decided to just be honest about the way they were feeling and that's what led the pair to have a more open relationship: I've been interested in other people throughout our marriage and had to battle temptations of cheating. I honestly opened up to him about how I was feeling and he decided it would be best if we opened up the relationship. We just have to tell each other if we are planning on doing something with someone else first.
It seems to be working ok for us so far. Then I met my best friend, Maddie and her boyfriend, who were in an open relationship. They explained to me the dynamic, were open and honest with each other about everything, and I fell in love with the philosophy behind it. We became very close both emotionally and sexually, although we didn't develop romantic feelings for each other.
A year later I met this guy Patrickand told him my condition for dating was that our relationship had to be open, and he agreed.
I then met his friend Krisand we fell for each other as well, and it became a polyamorous relationship. Patrick was okay with this, and we would have threesomes and everything. I later ended up breaking up with Patrick for reasons unrelated to my feelings for Kris. I'm dating Kris now, and our relationship is open. I still have sex with close friends who I have very deep emotional ties to.
He is interested in Maddie, which I'm happy about. Jealousy is something that gets better with time. And I was determined to throw myself into ethical sluttery.
I was reading the book. I was feeling good. A pal recommended I go to Poly Cocktails, a monthly drinks event that brings together polyamorous barf, that word will always make me giggle-barf people. I had a bad time. There are 8 million people in New York City. I created my profile and opened myself to couples.
After 16 years, I had joined a dating site, opiate of the masses, as a way to subvert the masses. I drank 3 more glasses of wine, and somewhere in there I started receiving messages. I woke up the next morning with my phone under my pillow, and 83 messages from men mostly and a few couples. This is not a brag, because it made me feel bad, like a machine to be queued up to, not a person to meet.
And yet, there they were: One couple in particular caught my eye. I went to message them and discovered I already had.
And I learned then that a unicorn was, in fact, what I was or wanted to be: Was I … going to do this? I was nervous, excited, then scared. Maybe I should stick with men alone, I suddenly thought. I read a handful of the messages I had received from dudes: Toilet dick pic the worst kind. Not nude, but intimating it. They were snuggled up together, in love, in bed.
And to my surprise, it built up like any other early relationship: Meeting for drinks, kissing. But everything was multiplied by two people.
I started referring to these two as The Magical Couple. They were odd, and lovely, and not average in any way. We watched movies, made jokes. We had sex, and while I was nervous about that, too, it went well because we liked each other and had talked about it a lot.
Everyone talks about what they want, up front, from the start, be it sex, dating, flirting, casual meetups. One couple became two. Then I found a few fun, casual partners.
There were, of course, some misfires. One gentleman, lovely and sweet, wanted to tie me up with ropes in a Japanese bondage art form called Shibari, and I wanted that too, but when we met there was no spark there, for me. He was married, openly, and had a girlfriend. He wanted me to be another girlfriend, which sounded very fun in theory. I froze and ghosted him instead. I ghosted him, too.
One day, I sent a naughty text to Couple 2, who lived upstate.
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The text, however, was meant for Couple 1. I confessed my error, but Couple 2 got very mad at me, perhaps too mad, the kind of mad that means something else is happening — something between them. We stopped speaking after that. I felt sad, like any breakup, about this. I felt, for awhile, twice as sad. Sad for each of them. After several months of this, I got tired. I had been pushing myself to get out there, with such a force of will, that I had forgotten that everyone needs alone time.